It came to pass in the spring of the year that the Donald descended from his Tower to address the assembled multitude. “If thou wouldst follow me and be saved, thou will heed and abide my words:
1. Thou shalt speak no truth.
2. Thou shalt pay no creditor in full.
3. Thou shalt condone violence and incite insurrection.
4. Thou shalt deny and delay the wheels of justice.
5. Thou shalt comfort and give to the rich.
6. Thou shalt take from the rich and the poor alike.
7. Thou shalt take by the crotch any female of thy type and liking.
8. Thou shalt extol and take delight in authoritarian leaders.
9. Thou shalt use the tools and processes of democracy against it.
10. Thou shalt confuse and confound all policy matters and questions.
11. Thou shalt use ridicule and invective to destroy thy opponents.
12. Thou shalt worship no god save the God of Mammon.
“Amen, I say unto you, these are the words of thy redeemer, thy revenge and retribution for all thy grievances. All this and more, much more, I hath inscribed bigly upon this beautiful plastic tablet; and all who abideth these words shall enter into the Old Post Office Building in Washington, D.C., and purchase the tablet for the low, low price of just $59.95.”
Thus spake the Donald – before boarding the Boeing 737 that beareth his name and flying off to the land of the Mar-a-Lago.
Richard Barringer
Portland
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