Let’s have some fun. Let’s compare the best known candidate on the national political scene (Donald Trump) with the least known candidate (Tim Walz, the running mate of Kamala Harris).

Let’s start with religion, a big deal in the minds of many American voters. Even though Donald Trump doesn’t go to church or pray or obey the 10 Commandments and even though he holds the Bible upside down and cashes in by selling special Trump-endorsed Bibles, he likes to flaunt his Christian credentials before crowds of adoring white evangelicals at rallies and conventions. Tim Walz, a loyal Lutheran, takes a different approach. For example, he recently stated that, “We don’t post the 10 Commandments in our classrooms in Minnesota, but we provide free breakfasts and lunches.” Wow, how radical! What would Jesus say?

Okay, let’s get down to brass political tacks. Donald Trump has never won the majority of votes when he’s run for public office. Never. He lost to Hillary Clinton by 3 million votes and he lost to Joe Biden by 6 million votes. Tim Walz ran for a seat in Congress six times, and he won every time. Then he ran for governor of Minnesota and won. The message is clear: Minnesotans love Tim Walz. Did you know that Trump only got 12% of the vote in his old home town (Manhattan) in the 2020 presidential election? Remember that old refrain, “to know, know, know him is to love, love, love him?” Let’s just say that Trump, doesn’t, er, wear well with those who know him best.

Here’s a subject worth addressing: money. Trump’s real Bible. As President, Trump’s major accomplishment was delivering big tax cuts for the rich and for corporations. Indeed, right after the tax-cuts-for-the-rich bill passed, Trump returned to Mara Lago and told his wealthy buddies, “I just made you all a lot richer.” Walz, by contrast, worked to increase the minimum wage in Minnesota to $15/hour and link future increases to inflation.

Walz rose to the rank of command sergeant major over 24 years in the U.S. Army National Guard. Trump describes people who serve in the military as “suckers and losers.” Can you say “bone spurs?”

In 2023, Trump became the first U.S. president to be indicted in the nation’s 234-year history — and he’s since broken that record three more times. Tim Walz has never been indicted. Chalk one up for the Trumpster.

Trump has filed for bankruptcy protection six times. Walz has never done so. Well, Donald, I guess a win is a win, no matter how sleazy.

Let’s talk education. It’s true that Trump’s bachelor’s degree from an Ivy League institution (the University of Pennsylvania) carries more weight than Walz’ degree from Chaldron State College in Minnesota. And while Walz spent years teaching in high school, Trump had more noble aspirations. He created his own hallowed institution of higher learning: Trump University. Never mind that Trump University was termed a “massive scam” by the conservative National Review or that he had to settle a lawsuit for $25 million after he became president. Details, details.

How about athletics? Trump has long been a big cheese in the world of professional wrestling. He even had that bearded Prince of Peace Hulk Hogan speak at the 2024 Republican convention. Walz, on the other hand, merely coached his high school football team to a state championship.

Trump appointed three Supreme Court Justices who helped overturn Roe v. Wade. As governor of Minnesota, Walz supported the Protective Reproductive Options Act that guarantees that every individual has a fundamental right to make autonomous decisions about their own reproductive health.

Trump has derided all efforts to address the effects of climate change. As governor, Walz enacted a law that requires a carbon-free electric grid by 2040.

And let’s not forget hair. At a rally griping about low water pressure, Trump said, “I have this beautiful luxuriant hair and I put stuff on. I like lots of lather because it seems to be slightly thicker that way.” Walz is, dare I say, a tad less narcissistic about his looks. As he joked, “I supervised the lunchroom for 20 years. You do not leave that job with a full head of hair. Trust me.”

Enough is enough. Clearly, Donald Trump and Tim Walz are very different Americans with very different values. Some readers may argue that Trump isn’t running against Walz, that I’m comparing apples and oranges. Well, it’s true that Walz is as American as apple pie and that Trump’s face has an orange tint thanks to hours spent in the tanning booth. That said, let’s just say that I’m comparing a very happy apple with a very sour lemon and leave it at that.

David Treadwell, a Brunswick writer, welcomes commentary and suggestions for future “Just a Little Old” columns at dtreadw575@aol.com.