Gender identity and sexual preference have become ubiquitous topics with fundamental ramifications, from marriage laws to the use of public restrooms.
Despite that, I have not read much in the local papers about the subject that seems helpful. I am writing today to share some facts gleaned through my own education, raising kids, teaching parenting of adolescents for 15 years, and observing close family members and friends address personal gender issues, which fortunately have found daylight and been given language so it is now possible to deal more effectively with them.
Nearly all teens question their emerging sexuality, if only briefly. For some, it is a serious and painful process, especially without compassionate support.
Recent statistics show that 20%-28% in the age group 18-25 identify as LGBTQ, while half of those identify as bisexual. Bisexuality is a biological occurrence well documented in human history and animal husbandry, and is referenced in the Bible.
Because nearly 30% in this age group view themselves in these ways, there are ample grounds for thorough and wide-ranging open discussions, sharing facts, fears and fallacies among sexually maturing and mature participants, our current high schoolers included.
An adolescent’s job is to figure out who they are and where they fit in the scheme of life. Our job as adults is to support their process: to hear them, to help them sort out feelings and to learn how to find useful information about all kinds of things: How does my body work? How to get a job?
“She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders” by Jennifer Finney Boylan is an excellent book for any young person dealing with LGBTQ issues, or anyone seeking to understand.
It’s important to help teens gain insight and information, to find comfort in the sometimes tumultuous and confusing maturation of their bodies – and, above all, to find pride and acceptance. Obscuring pertinent facts is contrary to those aims.
Useful information on gender issues helps not only those seriously questioning themselves, but those around them as well to gain life skills in understanding, acceptance and compassion toward themselves and others.
Sexuality and gender identity occur on a continuum, a complicated mix of genetics, biochemistry, brain function and social factors.
In the course of evolution, organisms have embodied both sets of sexual organs needed for reproduction. As evolution proceeded, some organisms became specialized having one set or the other, and some retaining both. Modern humans are a complex specimen, but nature does not produce finished products. It is not static, but continually evolving.
Who knows how babies will be produced someday? We already have birth control and cloning, in-vitro unions and gene modification.
If we are witnessing changes in sexuality and gender expression, so be it. The real human quest is for each of us to know who we are as much as that is possible, to feel comfortable in our own skin and to be able to establish positive connections with others throughout our lifetime.
Let us give that gift to each other wherever and however we can.
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