Election snippets from here and there in the Land of 04074….

SIGNS, SIGNS EVERYWHERE A SIGN

Political lawn signs are like Italian lira; there are so many of them that they are nearly value-less. Especially true of the millions in traffic intersections, or in dirt on side of road. Why?

I’M UP LATE AT NIGHT WORRYING; VOTE FOR ME

I marvel at the number of candidates, increasingly, whose campaign pitch is: “I know, like you, what it is to be kept up late at night worrying if you can pay your mortgage.” Don’t get me wrong; I am sympathetic to people who go through the troubles we have all gone through. But is this a reason to send somebody to the U.S. Senate, or the Blaine House, or Congress?

DO YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER WITH THAT MOUTH?

The debates only interest me to view candidate behavior on stage; Not interested in platitudes about crime, the environment, or infrastructure etc., etc. Gov. LePage often looks ready to strangle Mike Michaud. Bruce Poliquin appears pained to share a stage with the lowly “girl,” Emily Cain. In a local state Senate race, Jim Boyle appears, if he went to your family’s house for dinner, he would thank your mother for inviting him, would say please and thank you for the meal, and would offer to do the dishes. His opponent, Amy Volk, posts things on Facebook that give this impression why in the world do I have to run against this guy? Why is it not clear that I, and other Republicans, ought to be appointed to office, rather than have to contest elections. Dummies!

What do voters want?

TAKE MY WIFE, PLEASE!

Paul Aranson is a former Cumberland County District Attorney who is running for Maine House of Representatives. I have viewed clips from a couple of his campaign appearances. I do not know if he will win against Karen Vachon. He makes jokes, both during appearances, or afterward, that are stand-up-comedian-worthy. Help with voters?

JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH

In trial law, we often say to opponents, “I don’t know if my client has a great case for this trial, but I do know I am glad I don’t have to present YOUR client’s case to the jury!” The Bear Hunting Referendum reminds me of this trial law line. Put doughnuts in the woods for the bear to come along and smell and stop to eat? Tricking him into a trap where he can stay for at least 24 hours? Show up then and shoot the bear in captivity? Yes, I know about herd management, etc., but, oh, my heavens.

NOV. 4, TRUTH OR DARE

I have gone door to door often since the early l980s. I like to ask voters will you vote Tuesday? The answer is always yes! Then I go and review the “check-off list” at the Town Clerk’s office a week later to see who actually voted. Alarming the number of people who lie to me and/or don’t vote. My, oh, my.

Dan Warren is a Scarborough lawyer who can be reached through private Facebook message at the Jones & Warren Attorneys at Law page, or by email at jonesandwarren@gmail.com.

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